After reading the blog of one of my critique partners, I got to thinking about expectations. In Teresa's blog, she talks about setting and achieving goals, and I commented on her blog that I admire her for being able to do this. She has her expectations, and she is, according to her plan, realizing them.
It made me wonder what my expectations are for myself.
I've had a self-confidence problem for as long as I can remember, and I think this results in me setting my expectations for what I will accomplish a little too low. My justification is if I expect nothing, when I achieve nothing, I won't be disappointed.
Sad, isn't it.
Logically, I know that if I expect to achieve nothing, I'm setting myself up for failure. If I submit a manuscript for publication with the expectation that it will be rejected, chances are it probably will. I've already made the decision to fail.
The question is, how do I learn to expect more of myself? How do I learn to set my expectations higher? Aspire to loftier goals?
My first step on that road would probably be to find my hidden self-confidence. I know it's in there somewhere. I had it once, a long time ago. Circumstances in my past obliterated it, but I have to believe it wasn't destroyed.
In short, step one would be to simply believe in myself.
I could reword that, and make it my first goal. Believe in myself. I have a great support system. Family and friends who believe in me. And truth be told, I can't honestly say I don't believe in myself. It's just my self-belief doesn't exist to the degree that it should.
So that'll be my job for the day. Figure out how to believe in myself.
I hope so.