I have seen the light!
OK. Not really. I'm still fighting with that scene. And visiting Miserable Melodies didn't help. Although I did laugh myself to tears over a version of "O, Holy Night" they have.
So rather than continuing to fight, I opted to write more. Thought I'd include the climax of the scene here as an excerpt for your enjoyment. Ready?
The setup. They're in a bar. A dive. Definitely not a high-class place. And the band on the stage is the worst band in the entire world, who announced earlier that this was their first gig out of their garage. Chad and Dakota are trying to figure out what song the band is now playing. It seems familiar, but they're not sure.
“Hotel California,” she said. “They’re playing Hotel California.”
Cocking his head, he listened. Yeah, OK. Could be Hotel California. Could be a musical rendition of the death of a cat. “You sure?” he asked.
At that moment, somebody started to sing. The lyrics were definitely those of the classic Eagles tune. One of the night’s ‘special guests’ had joined the band on stage and was trying to sing harmony. At least, that’s what he thought they guy was doing.
Chad glanced around the table. Matt’s head was in his hands, his shoulders heaving just as Dakota’s had been moments ago. Dunc had pulled his shirt up over his head. And Bert was methodically slamming down the beer in his mug, refilling, and repeating the process with the speed of Superman chasing Lex Luthor.
Chad howled with laughter. He couldn’t help it. Between the sounds of the worst rendition of one of his favorite songs coming from the stage and the reactions of his buddies, there’d been no hope of holding back.
It looked like the band’s drummer noticed too. Without ceremony, the dude came out from behind his drum kit, climbed down to the floor in front of the stage, turned his back to the crowd, and dropped his pants.
Yes, the entire audience was being mooned by the giant, hairy, toothless drummer.
Dakota screamed. Dunc pulled his shirt down from over his head, followed Dakota’s gaze, then dove underneath the table. Matt fell out of his chair. And Bert just kept slamming down those drinks.
So rather than continuing to fight, I opted to write more. Thought I'd include the climax of the scene here as an excerpt for your enjoyment. Ready?
The setup. They're in a bar. A dive. Definitely not a high-class place. And the band on the stage is the worst band in the entire world, who announced earlier that this was their first gig out of their garage. Chad and Dakota are trying to figure out what song the band is now playing. It seems familiar, but they're not sure.
“Hotel California,” she said. “They’re playing Hotel California.”
Cocking his head, he listened. Yeah, OK. Could be Hotel California. Could be a musical rendition of the death of a cat. “You sure?” he asked.
At that moment, somebody started to sing. The lyrics were definitely those of the classic Eagles tune. One of the night’s ‘special guests’ had joined the band on stage and was trying to sing harmony. At least, that’s what he thought they guy was doing.
Chad glanced around the table. Matt’s head was in his hands, his shoulders heaving just as Dakota’s had been moments ago. Dunc had pulled his shirt up over his head. And Bert was methodically slamming down the beer in his mug, refilling, and repeating the process with the speed of Superman chasing Lex Luthor.
Chad howled with laughter. He couldn’t help it. Between the sounds of the worst rendition of one of his favorite songs coming from the stage and the reactions of his buddies, there’d been no hope of holding back.
It looked like the band’s drummer noticed too. Without ceremony, the dude came out from behind his drum kit, climbed down to the floor in front of the stage, turned his back to the crowd, and dropped his pants.
Yes, the entire audience was being mooned by the giant, hairy, toothless drummer.
Dakota screamed. Dunc pulled his shirt down from over his head, followed Dakota’s gaze, then dove underneath the table. Matt fell out of his chair. And Bert just kept slamming down those drinks.
4 Comments:
I've been wondering how 'the mooning' would happen. It's been a curiousity since you hinted about it some time ago. That's hilarious!
I've heard bands that sucked that bad before. Actually, I've been in one or two, but we knew it and never left the basement.
What happened to you in reality? You mentioned that the stinky band incident was based on a real life adventure. I'm curious. And which character were you like when you experienced that? I would have been Bert. Only drinking heavily can help when someone butchers a classic that badly.
By Yankeebob, at 8:29 AM
Thanks for stopping by, Bob! I'm glad you liked the excerpt -- the reaction seems to be favorable so far, so it looks like I got that part of the scene right. :)
I'm happy to say that IRL, we were not mooned. I actually took that part from a story a friend told me about the bass player of her husband's old band. However, the giant hairy toothless drummer is real, albeit slightly exaggerated. Hotel California? That happened.
And there are other things in the extended scene not shown here that happened. The Karen Carpenter drag queen with no makeup who sang Steve Nicks covers but only had a 5-note range? Real. The Bob Dylan sound-alike who was harder to understand than the man himself? Real. The 40-ish Haight chick in plastic zebra-striped boots? Yup, real. The marble-mouthed bass player who told us to kill our bartenders and waitresses? He played a different instrument IRL, but he was real too. And I still haven't written the part about the drink beggar.
Since I didn't really get mooned, I didn't have the opportunity to be any of these characters. However, if it had happened in real live, I'd have probably reacted like either Chad or Matt.
By Lynn, at 12:21 PM
Wow! I've gotta check out some of the live music places you've been to. Some of the characters you mentioned would be hard to make up. My friend G and I would haunt any place with people like that hanging around.
By Yankeebob, at 8:39 PM
LOL! And from the stories I've read on your blog, you and your friend G would have just put that night right over the top! I do remember, midway through that night, looking at my friend Teresa and saying, "I have *got* to use this in a book!"
By Lynn, at 9:25 PM
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