I met up with Sheri tonight in a local bar to smother her battle scars with alcohol (my friend Kip joined us). Admittedly, I was the only one drinking, as evidenced by my constant declaration of "It's the beer." Here's some quotes from our night (in no particular order):

• You know, I saw her through the window and now I don't see her.


• fuck face


• I'm gonna lose my 'I wanna shot' buzz.


• Barry Manilow!


• This song reminds me of Viagra.


• I wish [he] would walk through the door right now, but I'd settle for [him]. (Names removed to protect the innocent...and the not-so-innocent)


• He looked good in leather.


• His chest was so hairy he looked like he was wearing a bathroom rug.


• I feel like I should be stoned for this song.


• Look at her tattoos.


• Let's keep talking so he won't try to draw us into the conversation.


• Where are you from?


• I couldn't understand a word he said.


• He knows we're married and he actually gave us his phone number.


• Now I really need that damn shot!


• I wonder if she used to be a stripper.


• I've never heard "Brick House" sound so much like elevator music.


• It makes me never want to dance again.


• Table dances are free--go ahead and hop on up.


• Thanks a lot, guys.


• Oh, you meant the state? I thought you were talking about Kansas, the band.


• HEAD EAST!!!


• Oh. My. God.


• (points to ring finger) I'm married.


• Where the hell's that damn waitress?


• Oooh! Space Cowboys!


• I can't believe they're actually playing this. -- It's ten to one. I can.


• (rolling eyes at each other)


• There's that damn waitress!


• No, I'm the only lush here.


• Okay, all of a sudden he's cute.


• Oh, look! The prayer channel!


• Oh, look. He's conducting.


• I have to warn you. It's not Derek St. Holmes. (BTW, Sheri. I checked the schedule. Although this week was originally listed for that bar--I swear--now this week and next week are blank.)


• Oh, he does have drumsticks.


• Why are all his fingers bandaged?


• EWWWW!


• I gotta wash that.


• Oh, look. They match.


• I thought you'd be standing there with Bubba!


• What the hell did he say?


• Oh, gross! My heels are sticking to the floor!


• He looks like a child molester.


• Give him your husband's phone number.


• She's got a butt like a man.


• The family is the family.


• Lottie says: Foreigners don't tip.


• When you go out, don't talk to anybody.


• That was kind of scary.


• I'm married too.


• You're nice people. American's are not nice people.


• Sorry? I didn't get that?


• Shit, that was weird.


• Why do 300-year-old men always try to pick up on me?


• Stupid Audioblogger. (Ths one was said by me when I tried to audioblog and got a consistent busy signal)

And that's just a small part (believe it or not) of our night. I think we succeeded in smothering Sheri's wounds. What do you think? (Yes, Eve, we do always end up with stories after we go out.)